How many times do we hear
or read sad, tragic news happening in our world? Depending on just how tragic it is, it will consume our
thoughts and maybe truly even our prayers for a few hours, or a few days, but
then we go about our lives. We
move on. And, let’s face it; there
are a lot of things to pray for in this world. So much that sometimes it feels like too much, particularly
when those tragedies hit us close to home and in our own home. We may even blame God and His
intentions. We ask for answers and
are upset when we think God is ignoring us. We lose faith.
We live in a world where answers and results are just a Google search
away. Everything is instant, automatic,
on-demand. That becomes the box we
put God in. Because of that,
aren’t we all just one tragedy away from losing faith altogether? “God, I prayed to you, and you didn’t
answer.” “God, I was faithful to
you and you sentenced me to live a life without my son.” “God, what did I do to deserve
this?” The first day and the next
day after Luke went to be in Heaven, I was angry. I was so upset with God. “Could you be anymore unfair to us? Maybe I deserved this, but Jeremy didn’t. You know what kind of father he is, why
him? Why would you take HIS baby? All of the babies in the world, why
Luke? God, you didn’t even give us
time to pray and ask you for a miracle.
You just took him. He
wasn’t even sick; there was no warning.
You didn’t let me tell him I love him and see him smile one last time -
just one more smile. Yes, I’ve
sinned, but I thought you forgave me.
Why me? Why Luke? Why take Grace’s best friend? We loved him with all our hearts and
trusted you to keep all of us safe, and then you didn’t. Why did you give me the most beautiful,
incredible gift I would ever receive, and then take it away after only five
months?!” Oh, I had words for
God. But, just like after an argument
with anyone else I love, I started feeling bad. I felt bad for saying and thinking those words. I started listening. I listened to my husband voice those
same angry words to God, and I heard how untrue and wrong they were. But, I also heard the answers to the
questions I was asking because He had already put them in my heart. I knew God wasn’t being silent and had
purpose and He hadn’t hidden it from me.
He took Luke because He knew we could handle it. Let that sink in. You’ve heard the saying, “God won’t give
you more than you can handle.” How
many times did I hear people tell me, “I don’t know how you’re even upright. I couldn’t even get up if it were
me.” And it’s not about getting
out of bed. God could care less if
you get out of bed or not. It is
that we are one tragedy away from giving up on everything, including and
especially God. It’s that it’s apparently
only easy to love God when He is blessing our lives here on Earth. It is so easy to praise Him when he is
giving life to our children and keeping us safe and making our lives here more
and more comfortable. And as soon
as this world gives us trouble, as Jesus told us it would, we want to point the
finger at God. We want to throw
Him out and blame Him and question Him and all of a sudden His Authority and
Mightiness means nothing to us.
So let me tell you some of
God’s answers to a few of those questions, honestly: Why take our baby?
Because he’ll be waiting for you.
You will look forward to getting to Heaven. He’ll be safe.
He’ll never have to suffer the pain of a broken bone, a broken heart, or
a broken faith. Isn’t that why you
baptized him? So that he would
enjoy the blessing of an eternal life in My presence. Ok, but why did you take him like that? Because he didn’t suffer. Because that would’ve been more than
you could handle. Because you had
already prayed for him. I was
there when you baptized him. His
sin was forgiven and his soul was ready.
Why take Grace’s best friend?
Grace will have many friends, and now she has an angel. Your children will look forward to
getting to Heaven to be reunited with their brother. Heaven will always seem closer, realer to them for that
reason. Ok, so why me, God? You wanted my attention. You wanted it, you got it, so now
what? Matthew 16:24: Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If
anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and
follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses
his life for me will find it. What
good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for
his soul? For the Son of Man is
going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward
each person according to what he has done. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not
taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”
I have read and heard this
verse many times before, but it’s never resonated like it does now. Probably because before this I wasn’t
listening to God. I had to open my
heart to truly hear God’s calling.
Now there is no escaping the fact that my number one priority here on
Earth is to get to Heaven to see Luke again. I have one life to live and one purpose. And say I go on living life, and I
don’t reject Jesus as my Savior, and whenever He chooses to call me home or
come again, I do end up standing at those pearly gates. I can picture that moment very clearly
in my mind - the excitement to see my son who I’ve missed so much! At this point, it’s all real. I believed it, so I’m there, but in
that moment what regrets am I going to have? I trusted it enough to get myself there, but who from my
life on Earth is going to be missing this? Did I do my best to share the Good News with everyone,
especially the ones I loved? Did I honor God with my life, my time, my talents, my treasure, my children, my marriage? Is
God himself not going to ask me?
As I wave to Luke on the other side of those shiny gates, waiting
impatiently for me, is God not going to tell me He saved my son from death and
a sinful world and I just kept that to myself? He did all of that, yet I only occasionally shared my faith with people I
already knew were fellow Christians?
He calls us all to speak on His behalf to others and to speak to
Him. If God is really number one
in my life, I should be having way more serious, sincere conversations with
Him, but I’m not. If God is in first place, I shouldn’t be so reluctant to pray
with my kids in public, like when we’re out to eat, but I am. If I am going to trust that God carried
my son up to Heaven and will do the same for me, shouldn’t I trust Him more
than I am? Absolutely! But I make excuses and worry I won’t
have the right response if I talk about Jesus to someone who doesn’t believe or
doesn’t know him yet. I worry how
others will judge my words and me.
I pray in private for the same reason. I’m worrying about things that aren’t my business and I
don’t have control over and that don’t matter at all. Ultimately, I worry because I’m not praying. I’m not having serious, difficult
conversations with God, because I’m hiding my distrust in Him, like He doesn’t
understand, like He doesn’t already know.
I’m also afraid to listen. I
want to say my piece to God, when I tell him it isn’t fair about the tragedies
in the world, including my own, and act like He isn’t listening or hearing
me. When in reality, I’m the one
who isn’t listening to Him. We
always want God to bless us and fight our fights for us, but He wants to know
why we not only aren’t fighting for ourselves, but why we aren’t fighting for
Him? Why aren’t we blessing Him
and His church and His people – which is everyone on this Earth because He put
them here – and for a purpose! Listen. Look around you. If you are reading the words that I am
writing, your life is pretty good.
You own or at least have access to some kind of amazing,
internet-connected device, which means you have access to electricity to charge
that device. Probably drinking
water, indoor plumbing, heat, hot water, food – lots of food! There are so many people in this world
who have none of that and still believe God has blessed their lives. Because He did. He came, He conquered, and He will carry
us Home. He turned tragedy into
triumph on the cross, and He will do it in your life and my life when we are
willing to speak up and talk to God, truly talk to him, honestly, because He
already knows. Then be ready and
eager to listen. Now obviously God
doesn’t talk to us directly like He did to Moses in the Old Testament, but He
does through the Spirit and through our faith. Instead of saying, “What Would Jesus Do?” try, “What Would
Jesus Say?” Maybe the answer is
obvious. Maybe Jesus really already
said it and it’s waiting to be heard in the Gospels. Maybe you’ll have to deny yourself and take up your cross to
hear it like I did. Finally, be
ready to live it. Coincidentally
enough, usually the answer isn’t going to be what we want and it isn’t going to
be easy, but you trust your life to the vehicle you drive and the crazy,
texting drivers around you everyday, why not trust God a little more? What’s the worst that could happen when
you trust God? No tragedy ever can
take from you the free gift of faith and your keys to your heavenly Home. If He did it for me, He’ll do it for
you!
